On October 8th, 2009, NASA rocket-struck the moon as an attempt to uplift enough dust and debris to determine whether or not water-ice exists under the surface. Although spectators were unimpressed with the seemingly uneventful explosion, NASA representatives claim it was indeed successful.”We have the data we need to actually address the questions we set out to address,” said Anthony Colaprete, principal investigator for the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite, or LCROSS, mission.
At a young age I realized that reading the small print, or paying attention to the subtle whisper at the end of commercials (usually drowned out by music) can teach you a lot – or at least be entertaining, and make you feel smart. So when I heard about this attack on the moon, I figured there must be more to the story – or at least some potential consequences…
Initially I discovered that the LCROSS mission costed $79 Million… That’s a lot for a company who has lost most of their funding over the past decade due to failed missions. So, how did NASA come up with $79 Million for this project you ask? No, not offshore accounts, or secret investors whose last names all end in ‘-ino’, ‘-isso’, or ‘-prano’. No, not door to door fundraising, or reality TV. Some of you may have heard of them, or seen people walking around with their water in ‘fashionably’ and uniquely designed water bottles. Yes, you guessed it – FIJI Natural Artesian Water (bottled in Fiji – or so they want you to believe). FIJI natural water company is one of the richest H2O companies in the world. FIJI water is sold in rectangular prism bottles for a more-than-reasonable price… and apparently tastes better then ‘normal’ water (normal water?). An interesting taste test was done comparing FIJI water to everyday New York tap water (similar to the infamous Pepsi Challenge); with people blindfolded, they received a shot of both ‘kinds’. Surprisingly 50% knew it was FIJI, and 50% knew it was tap water. In early 2006 when the discovery of potential water-ice on the moon became known, FIJI quickly got involved. “This would be immensely profitable, and aid in our efforts of remaining a ‘green’ organization”, said Seymour Wright, CEO of FIJI Natural Artesian Water. “Our Promise: Carbon Negative, Saving the Rainforest, and Reduced Packaging.” NASA isn’t confirming whether or not liquid water was successfully found, however FIJI has already began their future marketing campaign, so one can only assume… FIJI plans on sending missions in collaboration with “Virgin” CEO Richard Branson, to collect the water and return it to Earth, bottle, and sell to the masses. “FIJI Natural Artesian Water, Bottled from the Moon.” NASA is furious, claiming they had no knowledge prior to the mission of FIJI’s plan to tap into the Moon’s resources for profit. “This will allow us to not only have the most unique bottle in the bottled water industry, but have have water from the moon! And don’t forget how little effect this will have on our Planet, given we are extracting the water from elsewhere.” said Vincent Balderson, in an interview with ‘GREEN’ Magazine.
I don’t know what’s worse… the fact that it’s alright and supported to send a rocket to explode a portion out of the Moon – the object in our atmosphere that is directly responsible for complex life on Earth – and potentially change the makings of our solar system. Or that a Bottled Water company is able to pay for this mission, and soon take advantage of the natural resources on a space object we still know little about?
